I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
