What tipped you off? The sombrero?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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