You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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