Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I stole a fireplace last night.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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