thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
