tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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