whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
