just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
