VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
