I hope mine doesn't look like that
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
