mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
