that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
