I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
