the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
