I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
