I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize