brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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