Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
