...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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