Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
