Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
