I'm really into asian looking animals
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize