from now on my penis is your penis
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
