she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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