Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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