All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Couch. On fire.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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