i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
