Soap is not a condiment
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
