I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
