bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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