He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
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