Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
