a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize
