Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
