i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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