i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
