If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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