His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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