she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
