So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
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