At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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