so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
