I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
