I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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