I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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