I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
