Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
