I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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