Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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