Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
