I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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