Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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