i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
