I'm going to jail i love you
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Randomize
