So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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