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• (760): View more from California

  Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.

  (912): View more from Georgia

  What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?

  (760): View more from California

  I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.

  (817): View more from Texas

  I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.

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• (516): View more from New York

  How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"

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• (254): View more from Texas

  Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.

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• (906): View more from Michigan

  On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure

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