No awkward lesbian experiences without me
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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