dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You've changed since you got that strap on
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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