no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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